Part 2: Preparing to leave
It is difficult to leave an abusive relationship. You need to assess the risks of staying or leaving. Abusive men often become more violent when they learn that their partners are planning to leave or have already left.
Planning to leave is very important. You need to think about protecting yourself and your children, finding a place to stay both now and in the future, and figuring out your finances. It is a good idea to get legal advice as soon as possible. See General legal services.
You might want help making these and other decisions. You can talk with someone you trust, such as a friend, doctor, nurse, lawyer, social worker, or shelter worker.
Only share information with people you can trust to keep it private. Be very careful about what you tell your children or what they might overhear. It can be difficult for them not to share information with your partner.
There are also counselling agencies, crisis helplines, women’s shelters, Family Court Support Workers, and other agencies that offer support and advice. You do not have to give your name when you call a crisis helpline.
Remember, some professionals have a duty to contact a Children’s Aid Society (CAS) if they believe your child has been harmed or is at risk of harm. See Can my family be reported to a Children’s Aid Society?
Your partner may try to monitor your phone calls, emails, or website visits. Luke’s Place tells you how to stay safe online and on your phone. See lukesplace.ca/resources/keepsafe-online.
Whether or not you choose to leave your partner, your safety is the most important thing. Making a safety plan may help keep you safe whether or not you leave.
- What is a good safety plan?
- Can I take my children with me?
- What happens if I call the police?
- What if I am hurt?
- Where can I go if I leave my partner?